New Year, Wiser Me
This is going to be an appreciation/reflection post. I believe my 2021 genesis post should be a holistic reflection of the year, as opposed to my usual compartmentalization of my personal/professional life.
I want to start by saying that I don’t look at a new year as a rebirth. I see it for what it is - life steadily taking another step forward down its current path. When will I run out of footsteps? Who knows. The goal is to enjoy the journey. That being said, the idiom “New year, new me” has never stuck. I see it more as, “New year, Wiser me.”
Definitely not as catchy.
I tend to spend the end of year reflecting on my personal goals and aspirations and ask:
“Did I reach those goals?”
“Were any of them unrealistic?”
“Were any of them a waste of time?”
“Which ones should be kept? Thrown away? Revised?”
in addition to trying to ask myself “How do you truly feel about your life?”
This one is hard because I am sickeningly optimistic.
If you tell me I have a 10% chance, and I really want it, I’m banking on that 10%.
With that being said, I want to give a rundown on those questions in comparison with my personal life (which, with you, is managing teaching and the sparse things I do outside of that) and my professional life (composition)
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Teaching
My goals were:
Work a teaching job that only requires 20 hours of teaching time.
Ensure it meets all my financial needs.
Don’t over work.
A. “Did I reach those goals?”
1 yes, 2 yes, 3 no
B. “Were any of them unrealistic?”
Looking back on number 3 in comparision to numbers 1 and 2… yes.
C. “Were any of them a waste of time?”
Absolutely not. I found out that I could achieve 2 by working less hours, though.
D. “Which ones should be kept? Thrown away? Revised?”
2 and 3 need to be kept but number 1 needs to be revised (and as of now, it has been).
E. “How do you truly feel about your life?”
It’s okay! I’m not content but I’m not unhappy. It’s fine for now!
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Composing
My goals were:
Find at least two jobs that can pay me my rate.
(lol, that was literally my only goal)
A. “Did I reach that goal?”
Yes
B. “Was it unrealistic?”
Not really but I understand that the odds of it happening had a luck element.
C. “Was it a waste of time?”
No
D. “Should it be kept? Thrown away? Revised?”
Revised and it has been. I need to include short-term goals about maintaining relationships.
E. “How do you truly feel about your life?”
I wish I was further along BUT, I’m trying to enjoy the journey. If I’m being honest, I’m not happy with where I am but I am happy with my growth.
As I begin building new goals, I realize I need to incorpoate ones that focus on personal relationships.
Ironically enough I have been doing that by default: spending time with friends in addition to reaching out and maintaining contact with friends kept apart by distance.
I’ve always struggled with this but I can see I have seen stark improvement in comparison to last year!
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In terms of appreciation, I have quite a few things to acknowledge:
Vietnam for being so proactive with its fight against Corona.
Vietnam for having opportunities here that allow me to pursue my passion.
Vietnam for taking me in with open arms.
My teaching center for being an inspiring foray of colleagues and assistants.
My teaching center manager for being the epitome of quality (despite unorthodox) leadership.
My game dev partners willing to take another chance on game development and bring me with them (GIGAWALLER, Studio Namaapa and John Springer)
New game dev partners willing to take a chance on me (Skymill, Orange Island, Frog Factions)
The game dev audio community and its many practicioners that have molded the game audio community into the helpful family that I know it as. (beats to play games, blacks in game audio, josie, romain, nick, will roget, and many others)
My resilience and eagerness to hike two mountains despite being practically useless from the belly button down for a week.
My self-efficacy which allowed me to effortlessly downsize my life in order to acquire more time despite less capital.
My thirst for self-reflection which has permitted me to grow into an even harder version of myself to not love.
All that to say, 2021 is going to be better than 2020 but not because it’s a new year. It’s because I’m willing it.
How do you feel about how your year?